The following questions and answers were collated from the

                  Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) given in Springdale, Texas in

                  2000 to 16 year-old students: 

                  

                  Q: Name the four seasons

                  A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

                  

                  Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be

                  made safe to drink

                  A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it

                  removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and

                  canoeists

                  

                  Q: How is dew formed?

                  A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them

                  perspire

                 

                  Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

                  A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.

                  All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no

                  water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where

                  the sun joins in this fight.

                  

                  Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?

                  A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets

                  an election.

                 

                  Q: What happens to your body as you age?

                  A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get

                  intercontinental.

                  

                  Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

                  A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to

                  his adultery

                  

                  Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?

                  (e.g., abdomen.)

                  A: The body is consisted into three parts - the

                  brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium

                  contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs,

                  and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels...

                  A,E,I,O and U.

                 

                  Q: Give the meaning of the term "caesarean section"

                  A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome

                               

                  Q: What is a terminal illness?

                  A: When you are sick at the airport

                                   

                  Q: What does the word "benign" mean?

                  A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight