PHUA KAI LIT'S FUN(NY) PAGE

1. You are 30 years old and you live with your parents
2. You are 30 years old, married, and you live next door to 
   your parents (or in the same neighbourhood)
3. You beat eggs with chopsticks
4. You have a teacup with a cover on it
5. You have a thermos of hot water available at all times
6. You own a rice cooker
7. You own a meat cleaver and sharpen it often
8. You have things in the fridge since the beginning of time 
9. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease on the walls
10. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift 
    when you visit the homes of others
11. Your parents vehemently refuse to accept the bag of golden       
    oranges that their guests just brought (to be courteous)
12. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table
13. You spit bones and other food scraps on the dining 
    table (that is why you need the vinyl tablecloth)
14. You fight over who pays the restaurant bill
15. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl but you 
    don't eat the last piece of food on the table
16. You pick your teeth at the dining table (but you cover your
     mouth while doing so)
17. You have eaten a red bean popsicle
18. You never discuss your love life with your parents
19. You twirl your pen around your fingers
20. You always leave your shoes at the door
21. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles
22. Your parents are never happy with your school grades
23. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles
    that you take every time you stay in a hotel 
24. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can
    save and reuse the wrapping paper
    (especially those beautiful bows) next year
25. You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off

Click here for GREAT WEB SITES

Click here for Roger Ebert's MOVIE REVIEWS

GREAT MOVIES I HAVE SEEN

BRITISH

Hope and Glory
A boy grows up during World War Two in England (the "Land of Hope and Glory")

Tess
Based on Thomas Hardy's book "Tess of D'Urbervilles"

CHINESE

Blue Kite
The Cultural Revolution as seen through the eyes of a boy

Lifetimes
The history of modern China as experienced through the lives of a Chinese family

Raise the Red Lantern
A young woman marries into a rich land-owning family and what eventually happens to her. Illustrates the situation of women in old China

Red Sorghum
About peasants in pre-revolutionary China

FRENCH

Chloe in the Afternoon
An attractive woman tries to seduce a man and what he does when the "moment of truth" arrives

Chocolat
A French woman returns to Cameroon (the place of her birth). Her memories of growing up when it was under French colonial rule

Danton
The story of Danton and his conflict with Robespierre during the revolutionary terror of the French Revolution

Le Grand Chemin
The adventures of a French city boy sent to live in the countryside

GERMAN

Aguirre, the Wrath of God
Spanish conquistadores and their effort to locate El Dorado in the Amazon Basin

Mephisto
A man sells his soul to the Nazis in return for power and wealth

ITALIAN

Christ Stopped at Eboli
A liberal intellectual is exiled into the countryside for opposing Benito Mussolini and his regime

Cinema Paradiso
A boy who loves movies grows up to become a successful man

Il Postino (The Postman)
An Italian postman meets the exiled, radical Chilean poet Pablo Neruda and how his life changes as a result of the acquaintance

JAPANESE

Kagemusha
A thief is made to impersonate a feudal lord after the lord's untimely death on the battlefield

RUSSIAN

Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears
An innocent girl is seduced and abandoned. She eventually finds true love with a decent man

The Cranes are Flying
Doomed love around the time of the Nazi invasion

SPANISH

Ay! Carmela
The adventures of a theatrical group during the Spanish Civil War

POLITICAL

Gandhi
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi and the struggle for Indian independence

Hair
A countryboy becomes a "Hippie" but eventually gets sent to fight as a soldier in Vietnam

The Killing Fields
The madness of the Cambodian Khmer Rouge regime as experienced by New York Times journalists Sydney Scharnberg and Dith Pran

The Unbearable Lightness of Being
A philandering Czech neurosurgeon around the time of the 1968 Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia

SCIENCE FICTION

Clockwork Orange
A vicious gangster named Alex is made to undergo conditioning against violence

The Day the Earth Stood Still
An alien arrives on Earth and attempts to warn the people to avoid the catastrophe of nuclear war

Dr Strangelove
A parody of the Cold War paranoia of the United States during the 1950s

Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Aliens take over the bodies of earthlings

Manchurian Candidate
Chinese Communists capture Americans and brainwash them during the Korean War

Peggy Sue Got Married
A grown woman experiences her teenage days once again

Planet of the Apes
American astronauts travel through time and crash-land onto a planet ruled by intelligent apes

The Time Machine
Movie based on H.G. Wells' novel of time travel

WAR

All Quiet on the Western Front
One of the best anti-war movies ever made

Born on the Fourth of July
A true story. An ardent American patriot named Ron Kovic volunteers to fight in Vietnam. He eventually becomes a leader in the anti-War movement.

Breaker Morant
An Australian soldier's court-martial trial

The Burmese Harp
A Japanese soldier is horrified by the death and destruction which he witnesses in Burma at the end of the Second World War. He becomes a Buddhist monk and dedicates his life to the cause of peace.

Cabaret
Berlin just before the Nazis take over

From Here to Eternity
A soldier has an affair with his commander's wife just before the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor

ROOTS WORLD
Examples of great Worldbeat Music (lyrics)

MY FAVOURITE WORLDBEAT MUSIC AND MUSICIANS

AFRICA

Johnny Clegg and Savuka (South Africa)
White South African anthropologist Johnny Clegg and his mixed band play their Zulu-influenced music

Mory Kante (Guinea)
Guinean musician incorporates the traditional instrument called the "kora" into his music

Salif Keita (Mali)
Malian musician and his "griote"-influenced music

Thomas Mapfumo (Zimbabwe)
The "Chimurenga" music of Mapfumo played a role in the war of black Zimbabweans against the white-minority Ian Smith regime

CARIBBEAN

Bob Marley and the Wailers (Jamaica)
The Wailers sing their songs of the Rastafarian religion, black solidarity, peace and freedom

Jimmy Cliff (Jamaica)
His songs give voice to the Jamaican lower classes

Kassav (French Antilles)
"Zouk" music from the Caribbean

REGGAE
Jamaican music pioneered by Bob Marley and the Wailers. There are now African versions of reggae music

SOCA MUSIC
Soul Calypso music from the Caribbean

TRINIDAD STEEL DRUMS
Music from Trinidad and Tobago which uses sawn-off oil drums as percussion instruments

ZOUK
Upbeat music from the French Antilles

EUROPE

Chieftains (Ireland)
The Chieftains helped in the revival of traditional Irish music

FADO (Portugal)
The haunting music from Portugal

IRISH MUSIC
The wonderful, lilting music of the Irish

LATIN AMERICAN

Inti-Illimani (Chile)
Their music is influenced by the traditional music of the Andean Indian peoples

Victor Jara (Chile)
Composer-singer who was murdered after the 1973 Chilean military coup

Violeta Parra (Chile)
Her song "Gracias ala Vida" celebrates the joys of life

ANDEAN MUSIC
Beautiful music of the Andean peoples

NUEVA CANCION
"New Song". Socially-conscious music of Latin American folk-singers of the 1960s and 1970s

UNITED STATES

Selena
Mexican-influenced "Tejano" music

APPALACHIAN BLUEGRASS
Dueling banjos. Music of the white Americans of the Appalachian mountains

LOUISIANA CAJUN/ZYDECO
Accordion-based music of the Cajuns of Louisiana

TEJANO
The music of Selena and the Mexican-American Chicanos

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